The truth about Kindness

It’s been thirty odd years and her face is still perfectly etched in my mind. She was older, with piercing hazel eyes and a warm smile. My static frame must have stood out in the sea of green and white school uniforms, zipping and twirling in the midday heat.

I will never forget those five simple words, “Do you want to play?” I stared at her for a moment then smiled shyly with an approving nod.

I can’t recall what happened next. All I remember is the relief, comfort and happiness I felt when she approached me that day.

This is my earliest memory of kindness.

Have you ever noticed how one small act of kindness can completely lift your spirit and alter your mood? Whether you are the doer or the receiver, kindness has a transformative effect that leaves you in a more positive mental and physical state. You feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted…and indeed it has.

We can experience kindness at any given moment. There are always opportunities to do good and be good to others. Think about the last time you experienced kindness. Reflect upon who performed the kind act, how you responded and how it made you feel. Pretty awesome right?

Imagine if we all made it our business to perform random acts of kindness every single day. What sort of effect would this have on the world?

The phenomenon of Kindness

Kindness is contagious. 

Just as a tiny pebble creates ripples when dropped in still waters, so too can acts of kindness inspire waves of change across the planet. This domino effect can only take place when there is thoughtful action and purpose on the part of the doer. Whether or not the receiver acknowledges or reciprocates the kind act is of no importance or relevance.

This is so because genuine kindness is never contrived nor is it conceived out of a desire for self-promotion. As with everything else in life, the intention behind the action is what matters most.

What constitutes Kindness?

I believe that kindness stems from a place within our hearts that recognizes the sanctity of all living beings. It is born from an innate sensitivity and empathy towards others that propels us to treat all forms of life: humans, animals and even nature with benevolence, respect, dignity, compassion and love. A kind act does not have to be grandiose nor does it have to cost a cent. It can be as simple as a reassuring smile, a worthy acknowledgement or the gift of our time and attention.

Exercise in Kindness

It’s time to flex our kindness muscle. Those who know me know how much I love to work out my mind and body. How about a workout for the soul? I promise it’s going to be fun and rewarding.

Make sure you have a pen and paper on hand. Let’s start with a few slow, deep breaths. Centre yourself for a moment and then ask yourself, “What can I do today to make a difference in someone else’s life?” It can be a friend, a stranger or even a group. Start jotting down any names and ideas that come to mind. Let your imagination run wild. 

Here are a few simple suggestions I came up with:

•  Write a letter of gratitude to someone who has touched your life;
•  Give mom and dad a call;
• Surprise your coworker with his/ her favourite snack;
• Forgive someone who has wronged you (and mean it!);
• Give your significant other or kid a foot massage;
• Make and share healthy snacks with your gym buddies or fitness class;
•  Acknowledge the next security guard, cashier, waitress or janitor you encounter and ask them how their day is going. Let them know you appreciate their work;
• Donate books, clothing and other items that are in good condition to a shelter;
• Stop constantly buying plastic bottles of water! Instead, buy a water bottle and simply refill it when its finished from a water dispenser or filtered water jug;
• Recycle!;
• Take a walk in a public park, the beach or in your neighbourhood and collect litter;
• Adopt a pet from a shelter;
• Volunteer and commit to a worthy cause;
• Engage an elderly person in a conversation about their life.

Honestly I could go on and on. You get the picture. There’s so much that can be done but kindness requires action. The next step is to go out and do it. You have 24 hours to get the ball rolling!

Pay it forward

Some of us have heard the term “pay it forward” but what does it really mean. It goes back to the ripple effect I spoke of earlier. 

Kindness begets kindness. 

The receiver becomes the doer and so on. Even witnessing someone else’s kind act can spark a brand new chain reaction of kindness. The point is to keep the momentum going.

Be kind to yourself first

We all know the saying “Charity begins at home.” Our homes are our bodies and our bodies are our temples. We must first treat ourselves with care and kindness if we are to maximize our full potential in helping others. Treat yourself the way you would want your child or best friend to be treated in any given situation. Why is it we want the best for those we love yet we neglect and ill-treat ourselves in the process? This is not selflessness. This is self-abuse.

The practice of self-awareness allows us to recognise and address this. Inner toxicity of the body and mind from lack of 'self-kindness' and self-care eventually leads to stress, unhappiness and disease. How can one fully be of benefit to others if one is not of benefit to oneself? I am not speaking of narcissistic self-love or selfishness. Rather, I am speaking about treating yourself with loving-kindness.

Here are a few ways you can start loving yourself more and treating yourself kindly:

• Meditation- I cannot stress enough how amazing and transformative meditation is on the mind, body and spirit. Many people think that meditation is difficult or too time consuming. Give it a chance. I guarantee you, once you start developing your practice, it becomes more and more second nature and you will reap the benefits over time. You can start off on your own however, I highly recommend a regular guided group meditation practice. For those of you in Trinidad, check out www.thesagepath.org, they're pretty awesome!;
• Exercise-Regular physical activity, even in small amounts, can help prevent, treat, and sometimes even alleviate some of the most common chronic conditions we encounter such as cardiovascular disease, the number one killer in Trinidad, high blood pressure, stroke, obesity, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, depression, and some cancers. Furthermore, exercising makes you feel good. It clears your mind, gives you a sense of accomplishment and puts some pep in your step. Just get up and get moving!;
• Eat real food! -What do I mean by that? Eat food rich in nutrients, cut down on refined sugars, artery clogging trans fats and processed foods. It's that simple;
• Treat yourself once in a while to something you consider a luxury;
• Dance like no one is watching :) Zumba baby! (https://www.facebook.com/Zumba-Fitness-TT-216463291712948/?fref=ts)

Do all things with loving-kindness

In the final analysis, what good is it to go through life without sharing loving kindness with others. When you answer the call to fulfilling your higher purpose, when you let go of ego and start embracing compassion, empathy and service to others, only then will you begin to experience true happiness and fulfillment in life. 

Kindness is the glue that can mend a broken society. 

Be kind to those who do not see the beauty and value in themselves. Be kind to someone who is alone and just needs someone to listen. Be kind to someone whose behaviour you don't understand. Be kind because you instinctively recognise someone may be smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. 

In the meeting of energies, let loving kindness prevail. 

It takes just one kind act to spark a revolution. Kindness is spoken in the language of love and the language of love is universal.

Aham prema.

Namaste.

*This post is dedicated to all the persons who have touched and shaped my life by their kindness. Thank you, thank you, thank you.